MAHD.

i ever told you this " what would i do without you.."

Yes i did. but i bet you remember it.

I'm sad,jealous,feel like crying, disappointed

Saw a friend of yours post saying that he adore seeing you and him.

Yes i'm happy for you but deep in my fucking heart of course it hurts.

I thought you were just clearing your mind but... is that suppose to be a lie towards me again?

Cause i cant take it anymore. I broke down but that is the only thing i could do.

Complain to people? no, cause people will be sick of me talking about this every time.

I know you already moved on. but how about me? Let me drown in the memories?

Even at your Cuz house i keep thinking the time when i woke up and saw your face,

Someone wait for me while i'm getting ready for work, cook for me when i'm up,

Someone adore me when i'm sleeping even i pushed you away.

i when through all of that alone. Khatib? remember? all in my fucking mind dudette.

I ever try planting this feeling of ARRR fuck you! but never works. occupied time with any nonsense i can but it just dont Fucking work. tell me how i ever gonna be a strong guy?

A guy without tears. When the memories came everyone could see the expression that i gave, cause i really feel like letting it out but i didnt. even now while i'm typing,

I would die,surrender my heart, dig to reach my heart, push everyone away.

didnt you see all that when i lay it down right in front of your face.

I know i make mistake everywhere pardon me about that.

From song,pictures,bangles,shoe,clothing,facebook,tumble,friends,places.. all brought me back into the past like last time. Smell of you always make me happy.

Yes that time i asked you cuz to call you.. i heard your conversation between you and him,

Yes i was there but i told him to tell you that i wasnt and yes i am the one who asked him to call you up in the middle of the night..After the phone call my emotion was mix, to be happy or sad? I told him that i miss your voice very Fucking much. If i could i will hug you like it would be the last minute of my life. I CATCH A GRENADE FOR YOU! EVEN A PLANE I WILL DO IT!

You said this "mahd dont ever leave my life alright?" "yes Naf i wont"

that made me put all my hope on you. but end up it was flush down.

I purposely stop working to relax myself. but it just make me worst.

Ever asking how am i? that would be enough for me.

i regretted saying things when i'm angry. yes i will learn from that,

I just hope ALLAH will help me out.

no words can explain this dying feeling of my.

Could a car just bang me? Someone stab me? push me down from a flat?

Smoke to death? cry to death? list a way i will do it to stop this FUCKING PAIN!

throw me a knife i will stand FUCKING still i bet ya!

i hope someday you will see what i felt when days were over..

dont you feel the difference? absent without me nor you?
dont you know how i feel about things happening now?
dont you know life is imperfect without you?
dont you know my mind is always about you?
dont you know i always wish that i will see u around?
dont you know my hand phone have been typing your number but never calling?
dont you know that i cant live without smelling you?
dont you know every things in my life changes?
dont you know that life is so hard when i got no one to talk to?
dont you know that i always avoid us from quarreling?
dont you know i'm still jealous?
dont you know i'm still waiting?
dont you know before this i believed that we could last more then what we had?
dont you know i still walk places where we sat alone and talk things out?
DONT YOU KNOW THAT??????
i feel like crying but what is there for? can you wipe my tears form me?
can you be in my heart back? can you come back?
NO! you cant cause u have a choice to make and its not easy..
i always tell to you to take care of yourself cause i still want to see the person you are from the first time i know you and meet you..
How i wish things can be rewind and we start all over again.. knowing my mistake and stuff.
it will be my wish for this coming new year that we know each other for a year..
u notice today is your suppose to be 7 month? i wan to see if you would call me and wish eventhough we are not together anymmore.. Lets see.. 21 is a happy and sad date for me..
till here or i will start crying.

Labels: if you remember.

Suatu masa dulu aku kau sayang
Tak pernah kau marahi diriku ini
Kau melayani aku
Dengan mesranya
Oh bahagianya ku tak terkata

Apa yang ada padaku kau sukai
Tak pernah kau mencaci diriku ini
Kau rela terimaku sebagai teman
Yang sungguh istimewa dihatimu

( korus )
Tapi bila kau dah jemu
Ada saja yang serba tak kena
Perangaimu pun berubah
Menyakiti hati
Hilangnya kemesraan
Aku sering kau marah
Engkau tidak seperti dulu
Lalu kau pinta oh perpisahan
Tergamaknya hatimu
Meninggalkan aku

Hai begitulah lumrahnya
Manusia
Waktu tengah sayang kita dirayu
Bila dah jemu kita ditinggalkan
Mengikut sesuka hati

Siapa yang pernah
Ditinggal kekasih
Pasti merasa apa yang ku rasa
Tak guna lagi untuk ditangiskan
Ku pasrah kepada mu Tuhan

( ulang dari korus )

Hai begitulah lumrahnya
Manusia
Waktu tengah sayang kita dirayu
Bila dah jemu kita ditinggalkan
Mengikut sesuka hati

Siapa yang pernah
Ditinggal kekasih
Pasti merasa apa yang ku rasa
Tak guna lagi untuk ditangiskan
Ku pasrah kepada mu Tuhan

I went to cut my hair!! woohhooo.. work has been great
i left less then 2 weeks? fast or wat..
of course i'm reading yr tumbler.. hahahahhah :)
btw how are u? i'm fine hope u will take care of yrself kay..

i'm going to batam with my sister or the 4 5 6 best per.. enjoy.. rokok free flow..
enjoy giler mesti beb.

bsk ader gig! baek.. but i only finish at 7.. -.-
alright see you when i see you.. bye!

Labels: saw yr fb

i doonoooo wats with life.. going whr.. heading whr.. hahhahahah
just fml.. fuck u!! haiyo.. haish.

"Awak mesti tahu yang saya akan rindu awak"
Life been normal these days. not as normal as last time and it wont not be.
Things that have been done is done. The fact is in..
I have a life with a million sins. I didnt go to the interview for police just now..
Cause i felt God will help me with things..
I just have this feeling of giving up but no i dont.
After all of things and give up came? no i not goonaa go tru that feelings again.

So live your life! hahhhahhaha!!i ned to wake up from the Sadness o my life even though it still hurts.. Who dont? hahahahahha!!
I always wan to rob a bank, Snatch Theft, kill someone! ahhahahah
k la my destop broke down.. wanted to update pics =.=

Labels: ape tu.

Hi Nafisah.. i'm so glad to meet u yesterday.. well i hope things will be better day by day..
i'm trying cant u see? well i cant deny that i'm trying.. seriously.. i hope to meet u again soon..

no post abt me but abt him.. who am i right..
well.. my life will start again from here. i donno who gonna read it.
i'm gonna start blogging again..

well today i'm pissed. and mad.. but after everytink i made up my mine..
we shall see wat gonna happen next.. u gonna keep quite or gonna find me..
May Allah guide me in a hard life like this..
All i ned is yr love.. that all.

Jealousy is a very bad expression i agree but i can do nothing about it..
it will come as soon as a guy name is out from yr mouth.. if i could control i would..
tell me how i'm i gonna do this.. i will persevere and hope for this best for us but watever it is we are still friends i can bet u that.. even though my heart was broken into a million pieces.
i know i will suffer doing this.. i just hope i can cope with life no hearing yr voices and textes..
i hate it when this gonna happen like last time.. but i will thank you for the 6 wonderful months i really had. thank you take care.. goodnight.